Lefty Limbo

And there you have it—my Sears Screamer with my Sears Screamer shifter console finally installed. You know what? I’m hooked. I mean, I grew up with and love ’80s BMX bikes, but I’ve come to realize there’s just no comparing those to ’60s–’70s Muscle Bikes. The whole effort of bike companies to connect bike design to muscle cars and drag racers is just out of this world. Ever since I took Art History in college, I’ve come to realize that art at its most basic form is a sign of the times—and man, Muscle Bikes are one helluva sign.

After joining the Muscle Bike forums, I’ve had the privilege of meeting some serious collectors and enthusiasts, one of them being John Brain, a true-to-life kustom bike king. One glimpse at his History of Kustom Biking will show you how serious this kool kat is!

Anyways. Enough with the hub-bub. Let’s play a game of That’s Cat and ask, “Can you see me in this picture?”

Yup, there you have it—the shifter console right where it needed to be. I’ve gotta say that aside from finding the bike itself, the shifter console is definitely the best freakin’ find of the year. And I had just as much fun making the custom decals.

The saga continues as I make a custom decal for the drag brake lever, and figure out how to wire it. Much thanks to Raleigh Ron for the tip. Stay tuned…and thanks for reading.

The Sears Screamer shifter console has gone from a restoration project to an art one.

With all the screws in place, it was time to give this baby a new set o’ stickers. I would’ve gone the resto route, purchasing the Screamer shifter decals that Raleigh Ron sells (btw, he has virtually every decal imaginable for just about every musclebike manufactured), but I decided instead to take a road less traveled, and design my own.

I guess this was all spurned by the “Martini” shifter knob that the previous owner had installed. If that little detail hadn’t existed, then I probably wouldn’t have been as creative with the decals that I made for the shifter. But, as usual, blame alcohol for the loss of inhibition. I’m still wondering where the previous owner got that thing. Perhaps it was fate. I love gin martinis—they’re one of my favorite drinks.

So, I’m hoping to install this on the bike today, then next replace the “brake” decal on the parking brake lever. No rush on that, I haven’t figured out how to wire the parking brake yet anyway. For now it’ll just be for cosmetic reasons, but I’m gonna be sure to ask the forums.

Ok, if there was ever a time to play the Superman theme, it would be now. Or I dunno, whatever kind of cool celebratory/power trip kinda theme song. ‘Coz I’ve found what I’ve been searching for—a 1969 Sears Screamer shifter console—and I’m feeling pretty darn Super.

In the introduction of my new Sears Screamer, I mentioned how everything was awesome except for the fact that it was missing a shifter console—the unique, stylish shell which beautifully wraps the shifter and parking brake assembly bolted to the frame. Man, I thought I was outta luck. I figured that it was a 40-yr.-old bike, and my chances to find a 40-yr.-old part were next to none. But after joining and posting to a reputable Muscle Bike Forum (recommended by Raleigh Ron, who has a complete, kick-ass collection of Screamers himself), I had one shipped to me in a couple of days (thanks Jax)! And I gotta tell you, it’s freakin’ awesome.

My better half took a look at my iPhone pics this afternoon and remarked, “Dang, you took like 20 pictures of that thing. What the hell!?”

“I sure did,” I replied, nodding proudly. I couldn’t help it. I mean, lookit that thing. It’s a work of art. The lines, the contours, the classic combo of chrome and wood grain—it frakn’ rocks. 1969 was a great year.

The thing that gets me the most is this rear isometric view. It looks like a freakin’ spaceship! Can’t you see that thing just zooming through space? I know I’ll be as soon as I slap this bad boy on the bike.

This shifter console is like, the best thing to bring to one of those Guess What I Am? games. This would take everyone for a serious spin. C’mon, who the hell would know what it was unless he/she was a total musclebike freak? I can see it now, someone in the back going, “Oh, I know what that is (yawn). It’s a 1969 Sears Screamer shifter console. Next.”

Anyways. Like I said, I was able to get my paws on one after only a day or two of posting my request on the forum. Only catch was, it was missing all the fastening screws. So I headed over to my pop-in-law, who is definitely one of the handiest men in the universe—an electric and electronic engineer, and an all-around master of tools and hardware.

He broke out with a tray of screws and we began to test fit ‘em, one by one. It took some time to match up both the diameter and the threading, being super careful not to try to force anything into the holes. Keep in mind this was 40-yr.-old plastic which was already giving way in some areas, so we couldn’t rush nor take any chances.

We finally found some suitable screws and everything seemed to be dialed in. However he noticed some cracking in a couple of the columns which seated the screws, so he chopped up some reinforcement collars from some aluminum tubing and slipped ‘em on. That’s the thing with my suegrito…he seems to have the most random hardware solutions at his fingertips. Who the heck has lengths of aluminum tubing laying around that just so happens to fit the columns on a Sears Screamer shifter console? Dang. MacGyver all the way.

Here’s a couple of the collars (indicated by the red circles):

Stay tuned for the next episode, where I stick the shifter with my own custom decals!